Moses

Last week I was lying in bed trying unsuccessfully to fall asleep. My mind was wandering everywhere, and at one point I began to ponder the next step for me in ministry. I thought some about leading worship, and I began to doubt again that I would actually be used to do that. As those doubts were creeping in my head, I saw in my head a clear image of a man who I knew to be Moses. I felt God telling me that, like Moses, God's work doesn't depend on His people's own abilities, but on being open to letting God use them. Moses was quite convinced that God had chosen the wrong person to be His mouthpiece. Moses thought himself to be a terrible speaker, too unqualified. God had other plans and used him in mighty ways. This has been a recurring theme recently for me. God is reminding me that it is not through my own strength or skills that He will be most glorified, but through me submitting those skills to Him and letting Him to with them what He pleases. I should not be audacious enough to think I can limit what God can do with what He's given me.

In 2 Tim Paul warns Timothy about godlessness in the last days before Christ comes back. One particular verse stuck out to me. He said that there will be people who are lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God. There is such a war that wages against my desire for immediate pleasure versus a desire to be obedient to God first and foremost. Don't get me wrong-I think that God is the author of all good things and there is no "more pleasureful" experience than really experiencing God. However, it is easy to just do what our flesh wants (usually what is easiest and most comfortable) instead of submit to God. That's why we're called to die daily and surrender. Quite the paradox. So when I would rather just watch another episode of LOST because that sounds more fun and entertaining, perhaps I should spend some time to read the Word and seek the Lord out. And true vibrant life is in the dying daily and loving God, not indulging daily and loving my own fleshly pleasure. Word.